Total Annihilation

One (wo)mans hobby is another (wo)mans pure and total annihilation.

Several years ago I decided I needed a new hobby and for some unknown reason I picked weight lifting. I thought it would be a good stress reliever (it is) and I thought it would make my body look better (it does) Plus, seriously, I could only use that excuse about how having two kids ruined my body until the kids were so old-after that, it's no longer the kids fault.

When I started I picked an awesome trainer, Matt:

who pushed me until I wanted to sacrifice him and everyone in his family to the Gods of Pain. But two days later I would return. Faithfully. Every week for two years. Stupid.

At some point Matt started trying to convinced me that, at the ripe old age of 35, I should step out on stage in a tiny bikini, showing off my hard earned muscle to be judged, and participate in the sport of competitive bodybuilding. To which I responded (for many months) laughing hysterically and walking away.

He's just a little boy-what did he know........He's nearly 10 years younger than me, so I mostly dismiss everything he says. Truthfully, I mostly do it because he is a boy, but him being 10 years younger doesn't help his standing. That's a joke people, lighten up-he calls me old all the time. We are very close truth be told. We have long since moved out of the trainer/trainee relationship and became training partners-until he moved away on me, a few weeks ago.

I guess it became inevitable-at some point he wore me down and persuaded me to get on stage at the only all natural (drug tested) event in St. Louis-The Show Me Naturals. (It was the only one at that time. Now there are a few.)

I cannot even express in words how scared I was.


But then, I stepped out on stage and an addiction was born. The thrill of being on stage. Showing off the months of deprivation and training. It is unlike anything else I have ever experienced.

One might compare it to having kids: the journey was torture. But now, I barely remember that. Being on stage?......I'll NEVER forget.

This was my first show. I've done a few more since then and am contemplating another this year with 40 bearing down on me like a freight train.

I have begun the grueling training regimen, but the thought of the diet sends me to a bag of chips every time. I'll get over it. I always do. I just don't know when.

If you're wondering, yes, I am a winner. I have never taken less than second and even have an over-all to my name. If you don't know-there is no higher place than Over-all. That means you were not only 1st in your class, but you beat out all the other first place class winners at the end for the "Over-all" trophy.

People often ask me why I spend so much time at the gym; why do cardio every day; why 5 am......or "What is your deal lady?"

This is what motivates me. This is what I'm thinking.